Afterdeath: Psychoanalysis of Nothing


They call me The Fixer.

I get things. Information. Weapons. Whatever is called for.

I’m neither good, nor bad. I’m not a hero or a villain. I’m just here, there, wherever I’m needed.

I most recently had to acquire bullets. Special armor-piercing bullets.

And a girl named Bullet has not forgiven me for it.

“What’s happening to you?” I look into his mask, trying not to watch his fingers play along his guns.

“I’m not sure.”

“Why are you killing now? You’ve never killed before.”

“I’m pissed off, I feel. I…fuck…I have this desire to just kill everything. Everyone. Show everyone the blackness that I had to endure.”

“So you want everyone to suffer like you did?” I light a cigarette. I can’t take my eyes off of the guns. I’m not even hiding it anymore.

“It’s not suffering. It’s not pain. It’s enlightenment. It’s nothing. That’s the totality of life: nothing.”

“And this is good?”

“Stop being distracted. I won’t kill you. Not yet.”

I try to laugh. It sounds more like I’ve been punched in the stomach. “That’s comforting.”

“It should be. I will show you Nothing. Once everyone has achieved nothing, once everyone has died, then nothing will become everything- communal zen. Heaven.”

“Great. Death has turned you into the fucking Nihilistic Messiah. You know you’re really scaring Bullet.”

“Jesse? She’ll be fine.”

“Jesse? Right…She says you wanted to kill her.”

“She wants to kill me. But she knows it won’t matter. I’ll just come back. I’ve tested it myself. And I know she has you watching those street cameras, watching everything I do. It’s okay though…maybe she’ll begin to see.”

I flick the cigarette away, nearly un-smoked. “I used to like you. You were my favourite of those heroes. Now, now I’m just fucking scared of you.”

He puts the guns away. I think he smiles.

“There is Nothing to be afraid of, Fixer.”

Advertisements

About litbandit

El Bandito Bibliotequa...or something.
This entry was posted in Afterdeath. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s